Pirates and Mermaids

This past weekend was the third annual Boynton Beach Haunted Pirate and Mermaid Splash Festival.  This resembled much of your traditional Renaissance Faire but focused on...wait for it....Pirates.

As you know, I have a two year old and one of his many obsessions aside from Tinkerbell and Elmo, is Pirates.  Jake is his favorite show, when we practice our alphabet, his goes "Q, Arrrgh, S" and so forth.  We were very excited about this and ended up dedicating an entire day to the event which covered a few blocks of the downtown Boynton Beach area on Ocean Ave between the library and the Schoolhouse Museum.  We went in the morning for the start and the afternoon (post naps) for the end and had a wonderful time.  
Max started the day in his Jake shirt and was excited to have an event to wear his stuffed parrot to.

Whoever thought of putting a parrot on a wristlet is a GENIUS.

The event was full of vendors.  There were people selling corsets and hats.  Max oped for a $2 foam sword that was confiscated several times during the day.  The mood was immediately set by amazing costumes and groups of "sailors" everywhere singing pirate shanties.  Max was completely amazed.  Then we came upon The Avenger, a wooden pirate ship playground.  The cost was $5 for the entire day and totally worth it.  It had steam cannons, hammocks, a steering wheel, ladders and slides.  I kind of want one for the house.  Don't judge me.  

While the mermaid was really cool looking, the presentation left something to be desired.  Her reveal was opened by two showmen who did mainly slight-of-hand tricks which were easily figured out for anyone over the age of 10.  Their antics carried on for a bit too long for the large group of kids that were waiting to see the mermaid and once the curtain was drawn back, there was a mad rush of kids and parents to the tank to get pictures.  The problem was that they rushed everyone into taking their pictures and anyone stuck in the back (my shy kid for example) never got a chance to really see her because they were closing up shop.  So basically I had to explain to my 2 year old that we waited through the 10 minutes before the show to start, plus the show that carried on way too long that his reward was basically to see the top of a tank of water.  I was able to get this one decent shot on the walk out.  The mermaid is pretty impressive looking, I will give them that!  It was just poorly organized and executed for the masses.

While we remained unimpressed with the mermaid show, there were two that we enjoyed very much.

The High Flying Fools are a comedy type duo that also happens to do some impresses feats of strength on several apparatuses.  The show was great at including kids as well as making jokes that were meant for adults.  A good time was had by all for sure. 

Serious Kazoo playing.

Ichabod Wainwright, better known as "The Wheel Walker" is the show you want to see.  We were lucky enough to see him two years ago at Ren Fest and his performance is still as amazing as it was then.  I strongly suggest you check out his facebook page just to see his HD Point-of-view videos.  Simply amazing.  If you get the chance to see him in real life, this is the one show your kid won't ask you to leave every 20 seconds.  

Kate, Ichabod and Myself

We were very happy to see a lot of local breweries represented all together.  Especially from our friends at Due South.  The little brewery that could is consistently getting rave reviews (especially of their Caramel Cream Ale and Cat 5 IPA).  If you have yet to stop in for a pint or a growler, you my friends, are seriously missing out.

As exciting as it was to see craft beer represented, I was pleasantly surprised to be introduced to Mead by the Royal Manor Vineyards.  Owners and operators Wanda and Joe were on hand to not only give out a variety of samples, but knowledge of their product which, understandably, they take a lot of pride in.  As for their wines, most of the grapes and fruits that they use are grown by them or locally sourced which only adds to the amazing flavor.  While many a wino may find the meads to be a bit sweet, the wines themselves were crisp and smooth.  Or as I told them "dangerous."  My friend (also named Kate) bought us a round of their Sir Carlos after sampling all of their offerings (don't judge us.  We hang out with toddlers all day.  We can have a little mommy time!).  The San Carlos is made with the vineyards white grapes.  Served chilled, it was incredibly crisp and light and perfect for a hot night as the festival was winding down.  We were so impressed, Kate ended up buying an entire bottle.  The prices are incredibly reasonable ranging from $16 to $20.  If you come across them, please check them out.  You will not be disappointed!

The night ended with some very tired kids who still cannot wrap their heads around all the fun they had.  I can't wait to attend again next year and I only hope that the local community continues to support this growing event.  If you missed out on the fun this time, I implore you to get out next year!

Until Soon,

Kate

The Five Things You Gain When You Have A Kid

Trying to explain what it feels like to be a parent to someone who has not experienced it firsthand is like learning everything you can abut Rome without ever going.  Sure you can read books and view pictures and with the advent of live streaming, you can actually watch Rome all day, everyday if you wanted to.  (I may have had the Abbey Road Livecam streaming continuously for days on end.  Don't judge).  But no book or blog or story from a friend can compare with stepping off of that plane and breathing in that air and touching that architecture.  Parenthood, much like your fantasy of Rome, is the same way.  I read every book, blog and magazine.  I talked to every person I knew who had kids and asked every question I could.  I was as possibly prepared as I could be.  And still, nothing prepared me for what it was really going to be like.  The real, nitty-gritty, glitter and glue and body fluids that are probably not yours all over your clothes, REAL part of parenting.

Sure it's everything cliche everyone can tell you it's going to be.  "You'll never know love until you hold your baby."  "You'll forget what your life was like before him/her."  "It's like having a second heart that isn't yours walking around in someone else's body."  It is all of those things.  But much like baby weight and an extra chin, you gain so much more.  

From my experience, here are the five things I have gained in my time as a mother.

#5.  Anxiety
This is terrible, but we really need to be talking more about this.  I promise, the rest of this post will be happy and light.  stick with me.
I was an anxious person before about things. But add a kid?
HOLY. HELL.   
I have not watched the news in 2 years because I would immediately put myself and Max in whatever terrible story they were going on about.  I also had to stop watching "Survivorman" because what if Max and I were stuck n the Alps and the car broke down and we had to take apart the seats to keep warm?  Totally realistic, right?  Yeah.  It's not.
And once I started opening up about it, I found that I wasn't alone.  I still have a hard time watching the news.  Don't get me wrong, I am up on current events, but I prefer the news on Canadian Networks or the BBC.  Short, sweet, to the point and not drawn out.  I know.  Completely unpatriotic of me, but seriously, the Sandy Hook tragedy left me without sleep for almost a month.  So how do I deal now?
Well, I tell myself the same thing I tell Max when he is frustrated/mad.  "Right now you feel anxious and that's ok.  But anxious is a feeling like happy or sad.  And like all feelings, it will pass." I say it over and over again until I drift to sleep.  So if you're out there and you feel like this, you're not completely nuts.  I promise.

Seriously?  Heart attack waiting to happen.

#4.  New found Love for your spouse/partner
My husband is awesome.  He always has been.  He's kind and patient and smart and funny.  He's always happy to help anyone who needs it, to hold open doors for old people, reach the high shelves for total strangers while we shop, he even cooks on occasion.  He's really a true gentleman and I consider myself lucky to have found one since they continue to be an endangered species.  He's like a unicorn.  
As the years of our marriage go on, we have gotten comfortable like most people do.  I forget to shave.  He thinks his bodily emissions smell like cotton candy.  You know how it goes.  But while our rolls in the hay are less frequent, my love for him only grows.
And then we had a kid and holy ravioli did I have a whole new love for him as he did for me. From watching him hold our tiny son in the hospital room when he was only a matter of hours old to coming home from work now and Max getting so excited "Momma! It's Daddy! He is here!" has been an experience that makes me fall in love everyday.  Even if I know his work day was long and exhausting, he comes home and does "guy stuff."  Just my boys.  Sometimes they cook.  Sometimes they make forts.  Sometimes they just go to get the mail.  But everyday, there is time for just his boy.  And that time, makes my heart almost burst with happiness.  And to watch my husband look into a face that looks so much like his own, to look into his own eyes and fall in love in a way that we made together, is the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed.  If it were possible to touch beautiful, that would be it.

#3.  Big Girl Panties
Being a parent is gross.  Your laundry will never be done.  Your floors will never be clean.  You'll look at your own shirt at least twice a day and say "What the hell is that?"  There will be all sorts of yuck in between car crevices and couch cushions.  Get used to it.
But my god.  There will be pee and poop and vomit.
Basically anything that grossed you out prior to having kids will now be the Kardashian of your existence.  You just can't go anywhere without dealing with it.  
Case in point, I am what you would call a sympathy puker.  If we are friends and you drink too much, I will hold back your hair until I get a waft of your puke and then I will help you out by puking on your head.  You. Are. Welcome.  But hey, at least you're not alone.  I'm here for you.  And for the record, there are a lot of great qualities I posses as a friend, being your go to guy to hold your hair is just not my strength.
And then you have a kid.
And when you see them choking on a mouthful of carrots or goldfish, you put your cupped out hands under that little chin and you catch every drop.  Yep.  Glamorous.  And not gonna lie, you feel pretty gangster after.

#2.  A Backbone
Believe it or not, I bit my tongue a lot prior to Max.  Especially if it involved my feelings being hurt or being upset in general.  Now it has dawned on me that your kid sees EVERYTHING.  Even when you don't think they do.  They see and hear it all.  So I had an epiphany not too long ago that Max may grow up never sticking up for himself if he never saw me do it.  So I dug deep and what little filter I had before is now completely gone.  It comes down to this really: I don't ever want Max thinking he needs to be around or put up with people that do not make him happy or make him feel good about himself.  So it's simple. If I'm not happy being around you, I'm just not going to be around you.  That is an okay decision to make.  And as the adage goes "If momma isn't happy, nobody is happy." So while I still don't like confrontation per say, I'm not afraid of it like I used to be.   So ladies and gents if you are reading this and being a doormat is your issue, please, I implore you, pick yourself up by the bootstraps and frankly, cut the shit.  Your kids are vulnerable and impressionable.  It is up to you to show them not only good manners, but to stand up to themselves and not be bullied.
I don't mean to teach them to throw a right hook, don't get me wrong.  What I mean is that it's also important that they know that it's not ok for other people (adults included) to make them feel less than and devalued.  I owe a debt of gratitude to Max for teaching me this one.

#1.  Perspective
This is hands down the greatest thing I have gained since being a parent.  While becoming a mom has gifted me a ton of new things to worry about (mostly Max), it has also granted me the gift of allowing me to see that all of the big stuff before was really small.  Seriously.  Not too much sets me off these days.  I don't stress about family drama or "needing" things like a newer car or name brand anything.  It just does not matter.  Looking at the world with new, innocent eyes makes me realize that it's the little things that are actually the big things.  The tiny hand that grips mine when we walk through a parking lot.  His thumb strategically placed just under mine.  The two little arms that wrap around my neck in the morning with a "hi momma. I love you" sleepily spoken in my ear.  The little head that rests against my shoulder as he says "no nap please" as he drifts off to dream his big dreams. The little legs and feet that seem to grow everyday.  It's the teeth that need to be brushed, the hands that need to be washed and the baths that need to be given.  It's the endless doling out of goldfish crackers and stepping on blocks.  It's wiping away tears and explaining that saying "no" is to keep you safe and not to be a bad guy.  It's sleepless nights when you're not feeling good but putting on a smile in the morning and being the best damn parent you can be for them.  That, my friends, is what it is all about.

Until Soon,

Kate

The Other Woman

I have been very fortunate in my life to be blessed with many friends.  I'm not just talking about acquaintances or people you meet randomly at a party or a wedding or through a friend and then you follow each other on various forms of social media.  I mean real, call-at-4AM-to-cry friends.
One of my favorite friends is Erin.

We have a very normal friendship.  
We live far apart, but when we call, we pick up where we left off.
We have spent weekends together and gone out for meals.
We talk about our kids and love lives.
We talk about sex, bathroom habits, weight issues, things that annoy us.
We have been drunk together, we have cried on each other's shoulders.
We have done all of those things "normal" girlfriends do.
When it came time to have her children christened, she gave me the honor of naming me Godmother of her oldest son, Jack (not his real name) who is now 14 because I had been involved in his life for so long.  Because at one point, I was engaged to Jack's father.  And I met  his father, when Jack was 8 weeks old.

I'll let that sink in for a minute.

Yes.  I was the other woman.

I could go on for hours about how messed up and crazy my relationship with Jack's father was.  But it doesn't matter and that is a post for perhaps another time.  What I want to talk about today in these days of what seems to be woman versus woman in every catty sense of the phrase, is real strength.

It took a long time for Erin and I to become friends.  Obviously and with good reason, she hated me for a very, very long time.  She didn't want me around Jack.  She didn't want my ex to see me on weekends he had Jack. She made the beginning part of a new relationship very hard and now that so much time has passed, I totally get it.

As time went on, maybe Erin figured that at least on weekends when Jack was with his dad, he was being loved and cared for by someone since he was rather incapable (and that is the last I will say about him).  Maybe she finally got over the fact that I was sticking around despite the rocky start.  Maybe Jack went home to her and said how much fun he and I had that weekend.  Maybe there are a lot of reasons.  But whatever happened, she started to like me.  And when I finally left Jack's dad, is when I started to love her.

Maybe I stayed in a bad relationship for a bit longer than need be because by then, I loved Jack.  We were part of each other's lives and at the time the relationship ended, he was nearing 6 years old.  Old enough to know who I was.  To ask questions.  And more importantly, want truthful answers.  But it was Erin, not Jack's father, who gave me the final push to leave when she said "it isn't my business, but if you want out, Jack can stay in your life."

Think about what kind of woman that takes.  Think of the complete selflessness it took for her to share her baby that had no blood ties with another woman. To have to share her time with not only Jack's father, but now myself independent from him. Think of the maturity a woman in her early twenties had to show to say "maybe I don't like you.  maybe at one point I even hated you.  but my son loves you and that has to be enough for me."  

It's funny now when we go out in groups and someone always inevitably asks "So.  How did you two meet?" and we give each other the "Ok. So this is happening" look and one of us inevitably responds with "How much time do you have?"  When we are together, it really isn't something I think about anymore.  I think of things that only she and I share.  Memories of when Jack was small with a full head of curly blonde hair on his big head.  I think of the wisdom she has given me in raising my own baby after she married and had three more.  I think of sandwiches and apple picking and watching Jack grow up.  We shared tears on his first day of kindergarten and his birthdays that seem to come quicker every year. We share frustration when he gets lazy with school or does or says something that teenage boys say or do that we know are stupid.

So yes.  While it's more conventional to have friends that you have known all your life or met in college or work, I'm thankful that I have this one.  And while I regret the hurt I may have caused her at the time, I don't regret the friendship I gained from being the other woman.

Until Soon,

Kate

The Mother of All Baby Showers

Last night I had the honor of attending "The Mother of All Baby Showers" with my friend and fellow blogger, Lindsay Joly of You Are The Roots 
To say it was fun would be the understatement of the year.  The event was held at the Young at Art Museum of south Florida and I cannot WAIT to go back for a visit with Max.

Being around all those pregnant, excited women and other moms was a really positive and uplifting experience.  And even though Max is only two, it seems like bigger and better things for babies seem to come such a long way since my own pregnancy.

We were greeted by the amazing Jenn Brown from American Ninja Warrior fame who is expecting a little boy in December.  She was asking moms for advice and mine was "Don't let people scare you.

"Tangent Rant:  Why do women do this to each other?  As if we see a pregnant woman and, after finding out this is her first rodeo, we say 'Hey, you must be terrified! Let me tell you a horror story to help you along.'  SPOILER:  NOT. HELPFUL.  Why don't we spend more time uplifting and supporting each other and welcoming new moms into the fold with open arms and honesty?  Would that really be so hard? End Rant.

Lindsay, Jenn Brown and Myself

We were all also given a copy of  Sh*tty Mom with the authors Mary Ann Zoellner and Alicia Yababo from the Today show on hand to sign copies and chat with all us mommies.  I am already four chapters into the book and it is laugh out loud funny.  Get your copy Here

I know, I know.  This stuff is all very sweet and nice.  You want to know about the swag and what new inventions and fun things there are for your baby/toddler/kids.  One more side note:  Why can't I ever think of anything as cool as this stuff?!?!?  

Without further ado, here were some of my favorites of the evening:

 Soothe Jewels are wearable teethers for your little one.  the beads are large enough to not cause a choking hazard, but stylish enough where mom can wear one of the many necklaces and bracelets to soothe baby without carrying one more thing or worse, forgetting the teether.  There are even Soothe Jewels for dads!

I mean come on!  They're little oreos for your baby to wear.
It does not get much cuter than that!

The Kuddle Coat was designed by Sandy Smith who was incredibly friendly and enthusiastic about her invention.  Oh, and by the way, it's brilliant!

This is a lightweight garment that comes completely sterile and with the assistance of soap berries, manages to stay that way.

The material itself is very thin (think of one of those paper gowns you wear at the doctor) with soft patches on the arms and shoulders.  This way when your new baby is greeted by a barrage of visitors in those first few, crucial weeks, they are protected from things like the common cold or RSV.  (I told you it was genius).  The garment is then washed in the soap berries (yeah, they're a real thing by the way) the KuddleCoat maintains it's sterility, antimicrobial, antifungal and all around awesome properties.

Hold on to your seats parents of little boys.  I give you the Lil Marc

You. Are. Welcome.

The Lil Marc is a potty training urinal that empties as easily as a glass of water.  It comes with a stand but if your boy happens to be a bit taller than average, there is a wall mount included.  The opening is very wide to avoid splatters and "almost-made-its."  Lil Marc even includes a progress chart and reward stickers to make toilet training fun!

Every single mom I spoke to who had one of these said that their boy was fully trained in a matter of a week or two.  Pretty impressive.  I actually think I need to buy one!  Max has recently shown interest in the toilet, but more for the flushing than anything else.  As for the Elmo potty I got him (and paid $40 for!), he makes his Mickey go on it or hides blocks and cars in there.  Solid investment, right?

There were a ton of vendors at this event and all of them were equally amazing and excited.  It would be impossible for me (and incredibly boring for you) if I spoke about each and every one.  However, I do have to mention that I made a new artist friend, Nava who paints portraits of kids and pets and everything else you can think of. She is also the mom of the twins in the cute painting below.  She puts them in hats...I mean really, wouldn't you? You can view her amazing work here.

And what would any event be without the panels.  Thanks to Chicco (By the way, did you know it's pronounced Key Co?  Yeah.  Me neither.) and Britax who were both partners with the event, I feel both very informed and paranoid about my carseat. They had a lot of great information and I found out that three out of every four car seats is installed incorrectly.  Can you believe that?  75%!  We can and should do better.  So if you're reading this, make an appointment with your fire department and get yours looked at.

 One more thing I should mention and then I promise I will stop, is I was extremely impressed that there was not only a dad's area with beer courtesy of 26 degree brewing (the pumpkin porter is delightful) and basketball, there was also a Dad panel.  Now I know I am lucky and being a dad came naturally to my husband, but believe me, I know I'm lucky.  So ladies and gents, please, take the time if you are expecting or if you need help supporting your child and your partner outside of finances, Please check out resources at your local hospital or place of worship.

You can check out all of the amazing event vendors here.

I cannot express my thanks and gratitude for the privilege of attending this event.  I sincerely cannot wait to attend many, many more.

Until Soon,

Kate