The Kitchen Set

This past week we were gifted with a toy kitchen for Max.  It has lights and sounds.  It has an oven and a microwave and a sink and a prep counter.  It's adorable.  We are very thankful that our neighbors thought of us as they were making room for Santa.  I immediately brought it inside and handed Max a wooden spoon, a small cake pan, bowl and a pot that never gets used.  He asked to put his apron and toque. We didn't hear from him for hours.

I was disturbed that only a day or two later on one of the mommy sites that I read someone asked "Moms of daughters.  At what age did you give her a kitchen set?"

Holy. Shit.

Where do I even start?!?!

So here is my open letter that that mom:

Dear Sexist Mom,

Hi.  

Get your head out of your ass.

It's 2014.

Sincerely,

Kate Teixeira

But in all seriousness, what are we teaching kids?  That cooking is women's work?  Or that we should teach our girls that at a certain age her role is in the kitchen and to serve?

Here's the thing.  You're not raising kids.  You're raising adults.  And for the love of all things holy, you're not raising a princess.  Don't you want your daughter to have a little more self worth? How do you expect her to dream big dreams and have a partner that (gasp) RESPECTS her?  That (shock) treats her like an equal?  And (aghast) values her as an individual?  What if your daughter prefers a race car or a science kit to a kitchen?  Would you be gravely disappointed?   Kitchen sets are great.  They're awesome for pretend, don't get me wrong.  But they're great because we're not going to be around forever and you probably want your kid to know how to fulfill the basic need of feeding themselves.  So yes, girls, play in the kitchen.  But play with a science kit, too.  Play in the mud and collect bugs and play wiffleball and skin the shit out of your knees.  Wear dresses and eye shadow and perfume.  And yes, cook.  But date a man that cooks for you, too.

I could rant and rave about this all day.  I really could.  But I will just end with this.  Pink is a color.  Blue is a color.  Neither is a gender.  Boys like to cook.  Girls like to cook.  Neither is a career to pursue based on what is between your legs.  We can do better.  We need to do better.  

Until Soon,

Kate