My Happy Place

Dear Max,

Recently you have become very concerned with my favorite things and if they change from day to day.  "Mommy.  what's your favorite color?  Is it yellow today like yesterday?"  "Mommy.  Is playing with me your favorite thing to do today?"  "Mommy.  Do you like to do crafts today?"  And very recently you asked me what my happy place is and I gave you several answers and you were puzzled that I couldn't give you one, definitive Happy Place.

I understand this is so confusing for you.  "Mommy.  We Rock is still my happy place today.  Is We Rock your happy place today?"   So many places make me so happy for so many reasons.

Before you, anything having to do with the fall in New England was my happy place.  Not Pumpkin Spiced flavored everything, but real fall.  The air when you could feel the last rays of the summer sun slipping away.  The crunching of leaves on my shoes.  The smell of wood stoves and cinnamon and apples.  The taste of real cider at Clydes.  

Before you it was lazy days in the pool.  It was long sips of wine and fancy dinners with your dad that lasted hours...and we both got to use both of our hands to eat as opposed to  coloring on the backs of menus.  

Before you, it was long road trips with playlists not featured in a Disney/Pixar film.  Stuck in a car with snacks and friends and figuring things out along the way.  The boardwalk in Atlantic City.  A trip to the Beach off of Savannah Tybee Island.  A jaunt to the original KFC in Kentucky.  A hike up a mountain in Tennessee.

And then you came.  And my concept of favorite was forever changed.

It's brushing the sand off of your legs and feet after we went treasure hunting on the beach.  Paying for another ride on the train at the zoo.  Waiting in line for 30 minutes for you to meet a character at Disneyworld. It's your little hand that so earnestly wraps itself around my index and middle finger for protection.   It's home.  It's the nightly routine of you taking a bath and making up stories for your toys.  Of it being 90 degrees outside and you telling me "I'm freezing" so that you're 'forced' to lay heart to heart with me as I breathe in your shampoo and you fumble my necklace and we talk about our adventures.  It's the sleepy face you give me as you beg me "One more story." "please sing me Rainbow Connection/Over the Rainbow/Imagine one more time mommy."  And I always relent.  It's the amazing, glorious, wonderful sound of your squealing laughter as we 'race' to see who can make it to the ice cream first or when I tickle you so hard you seem to not be able to breathe.  It's the times when only my kisses can cure your boo boos and worries.  Where my hugs solve all of your big problems.  


And so my sweet, amazing little boy.  My happiest place is you.  Wherever you are and whatever you're doing.  That is my new happy place.  

I love you.  As you are.  Completely.
Mommy

Until Soon,

Kate

We Rock The Spectrum

For any of you who follow me on any sort of social media or anyone who has talked to me for more than 15 seconds, you should know by now that I take mommyhood seriously.  I don't mean the "let's debate about vaccines and carseats until we hate each other" seriously, but the "let's find fun activities and play and learn together" kind of seriously.

And every once in a while, I come across a real gem of a place to take Max on an adventure.  Thank you to Macaroni Kid, I found "We Rock the Spectrum" right in Boca Raton.  (P.S. If you have yet to meet Joyce or sign up for Macaroni Kid, if you're a stay at home parent or not, you're missing out and get on that here.)

The moment we walked into "We Rock The Spectrum," I knew we stumbled into something really special.  As the name suggests, the kid's gym is well equipped and prepared to handle every child on the spectrum. Their motto is "Finally a Place Where You Never Have To Say I'm Sorry" is something they also take very seriously.  Far too often as parents we find it necessary to apologize for our child's behavior.  "I'm sorry. He's tired."  "I'm sorry, She is going through a phase."  "I'm sorry.  He was sick last week/going through a growth spurt/teething/Autistic/ ADHD/Non Verbal/Too Smart for his own good."   I was reminded gently several times simply that "He's 3.  stop apologizing."  And while all of us tend to apologize for our child simply because we expect perfection, it's nice to be reminded that there are a lot of people in the same boat as us.

We were greeted by a warm, energetic and friendly staff.  The "coaches" as they're referred to, are above all else, patient and kind.  If I have never mentioned it before, it takes Max about 20 minutes to warm up to new places.  But at "We Rock," he immediately was ready to go.  He was interested in their zip line and one coach helped him by holding him and walking slowly with him down the line.  After about four or five tries this way, Max was riding by himself at full speed...and unfortunately for that coach, he ended up riding about 40 times.

There is also a large trampoline, plenty of toys to share, an Arts & Crafts corner and a bevvy of swings.  There is even a hammock that was very tempting for this momma!  The best part is hands down the crowd.  I've taken Max on more than his share of adventures and never felt as immediately welcomed as I was at "We Rock."  And not just by the staff which is saying a lot.  Several of the other parents and nannies were equally as kind as the staff and happily stuck up conversations with the new people.  It was  really refreshing to have such a wonderful experience.

We Rock the Spectrum is open everyday and runs specials on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays with all day open play.  They often offer fantastic deals on membership for their classes and will be offering music and story times in the very near future.  Siblings are also discounted.  They also host many events and update their social media frequently with upcoming specials, events and all around fun.  You should follow them here.  Then pack a lunch and some socks and meet us there.

Max With Owner, Gail.

As I laid Max down tonight, I kissed him and as usual, he asked me if we were having an adventure tomorrow.  "Of course buddy.  Do you want to know where we're going?"  He sleepily nodded yes.  "We're going to go to the gym with the zipline!"  "Mommy! I love that adventure! I have so many friends there and it's so fun and I love it and thank you!"  I think it's safe to say, we found our new happy place.

Max and two of the coaches at We Rock

Until Soon,

Kate

Enough is Enough

I remember when Fausto and I first started dating.  I remember when he asked me to move in.  And I remember immediately after that, the  "when are you two kids getting married"  questions started.  Not that we hadn't talked about getting married, but we didn't need other people reminding us that it was an option that we had clearly forgotten about.

I remember when he proposed.  On one knee, in the bedroom of our half of the apartment we shared with his brother with a red box tied with a perfect white bow.  I remember planning and registering and the shower my friends threw. I remember getting our own place and getting our first puppy.  I remember walking down the aisle and that whole amazing, spectacular time being so blurry and crazy and I remember thinking "This is happy.  This is the happiest I will be.  Ever.  It doesn't get any better than this."

And then the "When are you two kids going to have a baby" questions started.  Immediately after the ink was dried on the marriage certificate they started.  Not that we hadn't spoken about  starting a family, but everyone seemed to be in a real rush for it to happen.  We started trying a year later and had success.  And then loss.  And while we were mourning, we were greeted with good intentioned people reminding us "you can just try again." Like it was placing an order for pizza.  "Oh, I asked for pepperoni...can you just make this again?"

And after exactly a year, we got pregnant again.  And on May 5, 2012, our beautiful son, Max was born.  We were parents.  Finally.  He was here.  Our family was complete.  Until Max was about a week old when the serious inquiry of "When are you having another one?" started to come.

And it still comes.  Every playdate.  Every family visit.  Every Holiday.  It comes.  I usually make some sort of joke about it.  "Not on purpose.  No"  "Not anytime soon.  No."  "Sweet Lord, Why?  No!"  Is it THAT strange that I'm okay with one kid?

There's a saying that goes "I knew so much about being a parent before I had kids."  And it's totally true.  Even while I was pregnant with Max, I always figured we'd have two, maybe even three children. I'd even say things like "When he turns one, we'll try again."  Yeah one comes REALLY fast.  Like a year later.  

Max just turned three and the answer is still No.  Not now.  Maybe not ever.  And there is always going to be the one (or 20) people who ask...no..tell me "he needs a brother or a sister"  but shouldn't the notion of bringing a second (or third or fourth) child into the world be based on what we decide is enough for our family and not some idea that Max needs a built in playmate?  You do realize that babies come out not potty trained and ready to play legos, right?  That's why he has friends.

So for right now, let it be clear that the answer is a resounding NO.  As of right this second, Team Awesome is complete.  We have enough.  And please allow that to be enough for you.  And if you are reading this and you're feeling pressure to get married or move forward or have kids, don't.  Take your time.  Evaluate what your happy looks like.  Trust yourself and when your enough is full and not dictated by that pressure. 

Your answers will come.  Your happy could be around the corner.  Your heart and your gut will never fail you.  You are enough.

Until Soon,

Kate

Breaking the Silence

It's been quiet on here recently, I know.  It's not that I haven't had anything to say, on the contrary, I have had plenty to say but little time to write.  But as part of my year of monthly resolutions, I am choosing August to start more writing so stay tuned.  

I love to write.  I really, honestly, and truly love to write.  When I was young in fact, I wanted to be a writer.  I guess this counts, right?  So I am looking forward to committing to do one thing that I love to do for myself more regularly.  I've been caught if this common shuffle of laundry and playing and teaching and adventuring and nurturing and serving and taking care of everyone but me.  Not that I am complaining at all...I love my life.  I have a great family and good friends.  I'm in a great place but I just never find the time for myself these days and the older I get, the more important it seems to have a commodity like alone time.  

I have many adventures in parenting failures and successes to tell you about.  There is much to discuss so stay tuned.

Until Soon,

Kate