The Big Trip

Max and I recently took a big adventure to the midwest to visit my family.  This was my first trip with him solo so the airport was very nerve wracking.  Carrying a carseat and holding his hand was tough but totally worth it.  Aside from a minor hiccup with the car rental, we were off on a really big, amazing adventure.  

We started in Chicago where my cousin who also happens to be one of my closest friends, Allison, lives.  She recently got her first big girl, post college job and is living in the cutest little place near Wrigley.  She was nice enough to open her home to us for several nights.  The next day my mother's four sisters\(including Allison's mom) picked us up and brought us to the zoo.  It was a bit hot but pretty amazing and much larger than our zoo back home.  

That's not a real lion.

We were then off to spend time in East Chicago, Indiana with my father's family.  Including my grandmother who can still throw down some pretty amazing Polish food.  The kind that sticks to your ribs and makes you sleep like it's Thanksgiving.  And also you feel a bit guilty for liking it so much.  Max even cleared two plates!

Our adventure then left us off to Lowson, MI to visit my cousin, Juli, who has two girls, Amelia and Adeline who are around Max's age.  She welcomed us into her beautiful, new home in the country.  Legit country as in driving through vineyards and zero cellphone service.  Which was actually really awesome.  It forced us to do things like...talk.  Max and Amelia hit it off like they were old friends,  It was sad to go the next morning, but we can't wait to go back for a follow up visit.

The next day we headed to Chesterton, Indiana where my mom would be meeting up with Max and I to visit with her side of the family for the reminder of our trip.  This also included a super fun adventure in Chicago again for some real sight seeing.  We visited Millennium Park, home of the famous Bean, a brand new park and a splash area. The evening was topped off with a picnic in the park and a very sleepy boy on the ride home.

While we visited all of my family...cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.  The most important thing we did was visit my Grandmother with my mom there.  She's in an Assisted Living facility and time seems to be going too fast these days.  It's important to me that Max gets to know her in person.  He always knew who she was through stories and pictures, but I wanted him to have some solid, concrete memories of her.  

There's a saying that goes "Do not send flowers to my funeral.  Do not come and visit my grave.  Do not mourn for the conversations we never had.  Send me flowers today for me to put on my table.  Visit my home and listen to my stories.  Call me and talk to me when you have a moment.  Time is cruel and unrelenting. Today is beautiful and I am here."  That has been sticking with me more in recent weeks.  While we may not have had the funds, I simply explained to my husband that I will regret every chance I never took to get a four generation photo.  Being awesome and supportive, he made that whole week happen for us.  And I was able to get this:

Worth. Every. Penny.

Until Soon,

Kate

Tot School Week 1- Letter A

Last week Max and I started our latest adventure...Tot School.  Basically it's the entire curriculum his older friends in VPK are learning with some twists along the way.  So far, we're both loving it and Max wakes up excited to see what activities we're going to do.  I figured in the words of Julie Andrews "let's start at the very beginning.  It's a Very good place to start." So we started with the letter A. I (thankfully) got some fantastic advice about teaching the letters out of order so if you were expecting a post on the letter B next week, you'd be wrong.  BOOM.  Mind=BLOWN.

The Palm Beach Library System is awesome for starters.  I can go online, request the books I want, they put them together and I pick them up at my preferred branch.  They even take care of transferring books between branches...so one trip and I have all of my books for the week.  Minus, of course, the 10 that Max will pick out on his own.  And if you're a parent reading this and considering tot school, or if you have kids in general, get your child his/her own library card.  It teaches them deadlines, borrowing and responsibility.  I highly recommend it.

Back to books.  I picked eight books for the week at two per day (it was Labor Day so we only did four days).  All of the books had "A" words in them.  As Max and I have a goal to read 1,000 books by spring break, I'll be numbering all of the books we read.

1.  There's an Alligator Under my Bed- Mercer Mayer

2.  Zack's Alligator-Shirley Mozelle

3.  Zack's Alligator and the First Snow-Shirley Mozelle

4.  Hey Little Ant-Phillip & Hannah Hoose (this one has a song to it.)

5.  How to Make an Apple Pie and See the World-Marjorie Priceman

6.  The Apple Pie Tree-Zoe Hall

7. The Lady with the Alligator Purse-Mary Ann Hoberman & Nadine Bernard Westcott

8.  Alexander Anteater's Amazing Act-Barbara deRubertis

Alexander Anteater's Amazing Act is part of the Animal Antics series.  I just recently discovered this and while the stories are a bit long, We really enjoy them.  There are 26 students in Alpha Betty's class and there is a book on each of them.  All of the books have an alliterated title such as this and come in really handy for less frequently used letters like Q, W and X.  They're super cute books so if your little enjoys longer stories, I highly recommend them.  They're awesome.

We try to do at least one art activity to go with each book.  I'd show you our egg carton alligator, but it's truly embarrassing.  as in my 3 year old said "don't take a picture of that, mommy." embarrassing. 

In addition to Books and Art, I have incorporated Montessori style "trays" into our daily routine.  While I don't fully agree with Montessori style teaching for older children, it has its merits in tot and elementary schooling.  That's just my opinion please hold off on the torches and lynch mobs.  The trays vary from sensory, fine motor skills, to literacy and mathematics to  practical life skills...I cannot stress the importance of that one.  I try to set out between three and four trays a day.  He can do them in whichever order he chooses, but he must do them all.

So prior to the week starting, I made a bunch of rainbow rice.  It's pretty simple, 1 cup of rice, 1 Tablespoon of vinegar and a few drops of food coloring.  Mix it all up in a ziplock bag and dump it on a cookie sheet.  Let it dry for a bit and put it all in a bin.  Good times.

I then buried small "A" items in the bin.  Decorative apples, toy airplanes, acorns, etc.  I handed max the bin with a spoon and a shovel and told him to have at it.  Seriously hours of entertainment.  

Other bins he really responds well to are the practical life skills.  Things like cutting zigzag lines out of paper, using a broom to sweep beans onto specific areas, pouring liquid from large containers to smaller ones (learn from my mistakes and put a towel down first).  

We also did a lot of sorting.  This can be as simple as taking a handful of Fruit Loops and having your child sort by color.  Just be prepared for them to ask you every 30 seconds if they can eat them.

I also get pretty creative and make puzzles...and yes, even apple shaped PB&J.  That's just how I roll.

I have many people asking me about his socialization.  This takes some work but it's imperative to homeschooling.  Max is currently in a music class...and let me tell you, dear reader, you have not LIVED until you have spent your Monday mornings in a room of two to four-year-olds in an instrument parade.  It's as louder than you're imagining.  I also take advantage of many of the free events around town and at the various libraries in my area.  Last week for example was National Teddy Bear Day and a local library was having a Teddy Bear Picnic where every child could bring their lovies, hear stories, have snacks, sing songs and do crafts.  So yes, this part requires real planning and effort on your part, but you've come this floor.  The dishes and laundry can wait.  Go play and learn.

Until Soon,

Kate

My Happy Place

Dear Max,

Recently you have become very concerned with my favorite things and if they change from day to day.  "Mommy.  what's your favorite color?  Is it yellow today like yesterday?"  "Mommy.  Is playing with me your favorite thing to do today?"  "Mommy.  Do you like to do crafts today?"  And very recently you asked me what my happy place is and I gave you several answers and you were puzzled that I couldn't give you one, definitive Happy Place.

I understand this is so confusing for you.  "Mommy.  We Rock is still my happy place today.  Is We Rock your happy place today?"   So many places make me so happy for so many reasons.

Before you, anything having to do with the fall in New England was my happy place.  Not Pumpkin Spiced flavored everything, but real fall.  The air when you could feel the last rays of the summer sun slipping away.  The crunching of leaves on my shoes.  The smell of wood stoves and cinnamon and apples.  The taste of real cider at Clydes.  

Before you it was lazy days in the pool.  It was long sips of wine and fancy dinners with your dad that lasted hours...and we both got to use both of our hands to eat as opposed to  coloring on the backs of menus.  

Before you, it was long road trips with playlists not featured in a Disney/Pixar film.  Stuck in a car with snacks and friends and figuring things out along the way.  The boardwalk in Atlantic City.  A trip to the Beach off of Savannah Tybee Island.  A jaunt to the original KFC in Kentucky.  A hike up a mountain in Tennessee.

And then you came.  And my concept of favorite was forever changed.

It's brushing the sand off of your legs and feet after we went treasure hunting on the beach.  Paying for another ride on the train at the zoo.  Waiting in line for 30 minutes for you to meet a character at Disneyworld. It's your little hand that so earnestly wraps itself around my index and middle finger for protection.   It's home.  It's the nightly routine of you taking a bath and making up stories for your toys.  Of it being 90 degrees outside and you telling me "I'm freezing" so that you're 'forced' to lay heart to heart with me as I breathe in your shampoo and you fumble my necklace and we talk about our adventures.  It's the sleepy face you give me as you beg me "One more story." "please sing me Rainbow Connection/Over the Rainbow/Imagine one more time mommy."  And I always relent.  It's the amazing, glorious, wonderful sound of your squealing laughter as we 'race' to see who can make it to the ice cream first or when I tickle you so hard you seem to not be able to breathe.  It's the times when only my kisses can cure your boo boos and worries.  Where my hugs solve all of your big problems.  


And so my sweet, amazing little boy.  My happiest place is you.  Wherever you are and whatever you're doing.  That is my new happy place.  

I love you.  As you are.  Completely.
Mommy

Until Soon,

Kate

We Rock The Spectrum

For any of you who follow me on any sort of social media or anyone who has talked to me for more than 15 seconds, you should know by now that I take mommyhood seriously.  I don't mean the "let's debate about vaccines and carseats until we hate each other" seriously, but the "let's find fun activities and play and learn together" kind of seriously.

And every once in a while, I come across a real gem of a place to take Max on an adventure.  Thank you to Macaroni Kid, I found "We Rock the Spectrum" right in Boca Raton.  (P.S. If you have yet to meet Joyce or sign up for Macaroni Kid, if you're a stay at home parent or not, you're missing out and get on that here.)

The moment we walked into "We Rock The Spectrum," I knew we stumbled into something really special.  As the name suggests, the kid's gym is well equipped and prepared to handle every child on the spectrum. Their motto is "Finally a Place Where You Never Have To Say I'm Sorry" is something they also take very seriously.  Far too often as parents we find it necessary to apologize for our child's behavior.  "I'm sorry. He's tired."  "I'm sorry, She is going through a phase."  "I'm sorry.  He was sick last week/going through a growth spurt/teething/Autistic/ ADHD/Non Verbal/Too Smart for his own good."   I was reminded gently several times simply that "He's 3.  stop apologizing."  And while all of us tend to apologize for our child simply because we expect perfection, it's nice to be reminded that there are a lot of people in the same boat as us.

We were greeted by a warm, energetic and friendly staff.  The "coaches" as they're referred to, are above all else, patient and kind.  If I have never mentioned it before, it takes Max about 20 minutes to warm up to new places.  But at "We Rock," he immediately was ready to go.  He was interested in their zip line and one coach helped him by holding him and walking slowly with him down the line.  After about four or five tries this way, Max was riding by himself at full speed...and unfortunately for that coach, he ended up riding about 40 times.

There is also a large trampoline, plenty of toys to share, an Arts & Crafts corner and a bevvy of swings.  There is even a hammock that was very tempting for this momma!  The best part is hands down the crowd.  I've taken Max on more than his share of adventures and never felt as immediately welcomed as I was at "We Rock."  And not just by the staff which is saying a lot.  Several of the other parents and nannies were equally as kind as the staff and happily stuck up conversations with the new people.  It was  really refreshing to have such a wonderful experience.

We Rock the Spectrum is open everyday and runs specials on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays with all day open play.  They often offer fantastic deals on membership for their classes and will be offering music and story times in the very near future.  Siblings are also discounted.  They also host many events and update their social media frequently with upcoming specials, events and all around fun.  You should follow them here.  Then pack a lunch and some socks and meet us there.

Max With Owner, Gail.

As I laid Max down tonight, I kissed him and as usual, he asked me if we were having an adventure tomorrow.  "Of course buddy.  Do you want to know where we're going?"  He sleepily nodded yes.  "We're going to go to the gym with the zipline!"  "Mommy! I love that adventure! I have so many friends there and it's so fun and I love it and thank you!"  I think it's safe to say, we found our new happy place.

Max and two of the coaches at We Rock

Until Soon,

Kate

Enough is Enough

I remember when Fausto and I first started dating.  I remember when he asked me to move in.  And I remember immediately after that, the  "when are you two kids getting married"  questions started.  Not that we hadn't talked about getting married, but we didn't need other people reminding us that it was an option that we had clearly forgotten about.

I remember when he proposed.  On one knee, in the bedroom of our half of the apartment we shared with his brother with a red box tied with a perfect white bow.  I remember planning and registering and the shower my friends threw. I remember getting our own place and getting our first puppy.  I remember walking down the aisle and that whole amazing, spectacular time being so blurry and crazy and I remember thinking "This is happy.  This is the happiest I will be.  Ever.  It doesn't get any better than this."

And then the "When are you two kids going to have a baby" questions started.  Immediately after the ink was dried on the marriage certificate they started.  Not that we hadn't spoken about  starting a family, but everyone seemed to be in a real rush for it to happen.  We started trying a year later and had success.  And then loss.  And while we were mourning, we were greeted with good intentioned people reminding us "you can just try again." Like it was placing an order for pizza.  "Oh, I asked for pepperoni...can you just make this again?"

And after exactly a year, we got pregnant again.  And on May 5, 2012, our beautiful son, Max was born.  We were parents.  Finally.  He was here.  Our family was complete.  Until Max was about a week old when the serious inquiry of "When are you having another one?" started to come.

And it still comes.  Every playdate.  Every family visit.  Every Holiday.  It comes.  I usually make some sort of joke about it.  "Not on purpose.  No"  "Not anytime soon.  No."  "Sweet Lord, Why?  No!"  Is it THAT strange that I'm okay with one kid?

There's a saying that goes "I knew so much about being a parent before I had kids."  And it's totally true.  Even while I was pregnant with Max, I always figured we'd have two, maybe even three children. I'd even say things like "When he turns one, we'll try again."  Yeah one comes REALLY fast.  Like a year later.  

Max just turned three and the answer is still No.  Not now.  Maybe not ever.  And there is always going to be the one (or 20) people who ask...no..tell me "he needs a brother or a sister"  but shouldn't the notion of bringing a second (or third or fourth) child into the world be based on what we decide is enough for our family and not some idea that Max needs a built in playmate?  You do realize that babies come out not potty trained and ready to play legos, right?  That's why he has friends.

So for right now, let it be clear that the answer is a resounding NO.  As of right this second, Team Awesome is complete.  We have enough.  And please allow that to be enough for you.  And if you are reading this and you're feeling pressure to get married or move forward or have kids, don't.  Take your time.  Evaluate what your happy looks like.  Trust yourself and when your enough is full and not dictated by that pressure. 

Your answers will come.  Your happy could be around the corner.  Your heart and your gut will never fail you.  You are enough.

Until Soon,

Kate

Breaking the Silence

It's been quiet on here recently, I know.  It's not that I haven't had anything to say, on the contrary, I have had plenty to say but little time to write.  But as part of my year of monthly resolutions, I am choosing August to start more writing so stay tuned.  

I love to write.  I really, honestly, and truly love to write.  When I was young in fact, I wanted to be a writer.  I guess this counts, right?  So I am looking forward to committing to do one thing that I love to do for myself more regularly.  I've been caught if this common shuffle of laundry and playing and teaching and adventuring and nurturing and serving and taking care of everyone but me.  Not that I am complaining at all...I love my life.  I have a great family and good friends.  I'm in a great place but I just never find the time for myself these days and the older I get, the more important it seems to have a commodity like alone time.  

I have many adventures in parenting failures and successes to tell you about.  There is much to discuss so stay tuned.

Until Soon,

Kate

Dear Max...Things you Should Know About Your Mom (part 1)

Dear Max,

You look at me with those sparkling eyes and sometimes I don't have answers for you.  I don't understand why people can be mean.  And, when it happens to you, it makes me want to cry for your hurt and have words with whomever caused you pain.  Sometimes you'll chase an older kid around who, simply, does not want to play with you.  Later you'll tell me that it makes your heart sad.  And I'll tell you that you're wonderful.  That I will always play ball with you.  That you have a million great qualities that I want the world to see and know about you. I'll tuck you in bed, kiss your cheek, and then cry alone for your hurt heart. And sadly, your heart will hurt another day for another reason.  

I worry about the world.  I worry about this place where practicing kind acts randomly is considered a big deal instead of the norm.  Max, it is important that you do your best to always be kind.  It requires a little more work but the blessings that come and the light in the dark that guides your heart is worth the effort.  


I worry that one day you'll come across someone who will tell you that it isn't OK to like princesses and Tinkerbell because you're a boy.  It is TOTALLY OK to like princesses and Tinkerbell.  They are brave and funny and smart.  And they make mistakes.  And they learn lessons.  They're great friends and they sometimes take unpopular positions because it's the right thing to do.  These are fantastic qualities in a hero...male or female.  They're great qualities to keep in your heart.  They're qualities I want you to have as a man.  (However, they have set you up for a lifetime of unrealistic hair expectations.) 

I worry that you don't know that when I am upset with something you did or you're standing in a corner being punished, that you don't understand it's because I love you.  My job, my soul purpose for breathing and being on this planet is to be your mom.  Being your mom means keeping you safe and raising you to be a decent adult. And the enormous amount  of pressure that comes along with that responsibility sometimes leaves me without breath.  And when you're standing in that corner for the two minutes that seems like a lifetime to you, I am struggling to fight my own tears and find words to make your heart understand mine.  And sometimes I won't get them right.  And sometimes you'll think I'm too strict.  And that's OK, too.

Because there is so much light in the worry.  There is you.  There is that hair that I pay to have cut every month that you shove under a baseball hat whenever possible.  There is the quiet you so desperately enjoy.  There is a boundless and colorful imagination that I see in the "shows" you put on for your stuffed animals.  There are the stories you tell me when you wake up from naps about pirates and fairies.  Every piece of paper you find is a "treasure map, mommy!"  and every out-of-place pebble, shell and feather becomes something to be collected and put in your treasure box.  The big dreams that you dream are fantastic and amazing and you should always dream them.  

And there are those two big brown eyes that look up at me longing for all of the answers the universe holds.  And all I can muster is "I love you.  So much."  But the funny thing is, I think that IS the answer.  To everything.  The dark and the light.  All of it.    

I love you.  Completely.  As you are.
Mommy