Sometimes It Pays Off

I joke often about the trials and tribulations about parenting a threenage boy.  How many challenges it makes me face that I never considered before.  And yes, even how I feel like I am failing as a parent the majority of the time.  

The thing is, I kind of feel like being a part the sisterhood of motherhood is sharing these feelings.  We laugh at satirical blogs and memes and Facebook lists because they ring so clearly with truth.  And I know I am not alone in feeling like most days I am screwing it all up and all I want it to pull the covers over my head, cry and eat ice cream.  

If you have ever met me in real life and we've ever talked about parenting, you'd know that I cannot stress enough that I love being a mom.  I was born to be a mom.  It is a passion greater than any craft I have ever perfected, any dish or dessert people tell me I could sell, any blog post I've ever written and any joke I have ever cracked.  And if you've ever seen me in public, you may have caught me speaking sternly, smacking a hand, or even doling out a "time out" to Max.  And to the people that tell me to my face or worse, whisper behind my back that I'm "too hard on him," here's the thing:  I have one job in this life. It's to make sure that when I'm gone, that he isn't an asshole.  That's it.  End of game.  

And yes.  I am very strict.  I make him stand in the corner for not listening or hitting.  I make him apologize when he's done wrong.  Even if he's apologizing to the dog.  I don't let him win every game.  I make him let the girls in his music class walk in before him.   I make him do worksheets for tot school.  I make him say please and thank you.  I make him clean his plate and wash the table and pick up his toys and put his laundry away and mind his manners.  I make him hold himself accountable. Because that's life.

And I make him jump in puddles. I make him catch frogs and inspect bugs.  I make him color and glue and glitter and paint all over my dining room table that has seen better days.  I make him cook with me.  I make him read me stories and come up with knock-knock jokes.  I make him mash play doh with my potato masher and cut it with my pizza cutter.  I make him listen as I use the wrong words to songs to make them silly and him laugh uncontrollably.  I make him jump on the bed.  I make him let me chase him around the house and poke that one spot just below his ribs that tickles him more than the rest.

What a terrible life for a strong-willed boy.

And every so often, I feel like I am failing.  But not today.  

Today we had the chance to play with a new friend who joined us for tot school.  She is a few months younger than Max and had no expectations about what tot school with us would be like.  So when she couldn't sit for story time, it was my son, not me,  who said "we sit like this and listen to mommy" as he sat with his hands in his lap and his big brown eyes looking into mine.  When she wanted to grab a tray before completing the first one, it was Max, not me,  who said "we really need to clean this first and put it away.  That way, we have room for another game."   When his friend wanted his water or his toy or his crayons, he gave them up and said "It's ok.  I'm a good sharer and I can take a turn later.  She's littler than I am."  When we walked into the restaurant for lunch, he let her and her mom go in before us "Ladies first, mommy."

So today.  Today I won at being a mom.  Today, today I did my job.  Today I won't feel like I failed.

Tonight as I read him one last book and sang him one last song and gave him one last hug and one (okay 10) more kisses, I thanked him.   "Thank you for being so good today and setting a good example for your friend buddy."  "You're welcome, Mommy.  I'm a big boy now."  he yawned back with the last bits of energy he had in him.  "You are a big boy, Champ.  And I love you."  

"I love you too, Mommy.  You're my best friend."

I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow.

Until Soon,

Kate

Three is a Challenge

Whoever coined the phrase "Terrible Twos" never experienced three.  As a parent, when your kid is about 10 months through two, you think to yourself "This is easy! I don't know what the fuss is all about."  And you go about your happy life standing in the warmth of the sun and planning a third birthday party and enjoying the fact for this one, brief, moment in your life, you're the greatest parent on the planet.  You are perfect.  Your child will never need therapy because you screwed them up.

I hate to bust your bubble (I'm lying, I don't hate it), but my friend you are so wrong.  You will spend months planning an epic third birthday party for your perfect child but what they don't tell you is this...when your kid blows their candles out, the devil comes in...you may actually see your child immediately swap their halo for a pitchfork and horns.  

It's true.  I wouldn't lie to you.

And it will be subtle at first.  You'll think "ohhh...little Johnny missed his nap today.  He's so cranky."  "Oooohhh...little Susie doesn't like strawberries today because she had them everyday this week.  She's probably sick of them."  And all of your friends with three-year-olds will agree with you and then go home and tell their spouses and they'll laugh and laugh.

Don't get me wrong.  99.9% of the time, your kid is amazing and kind and as awesome as he/she was at two.  But there is that other .01% of the time that really sticks out.  And sometimes its a whole day of that .01%. 

I have said before that I knew so much more about parenting before I actually had a kid.  I was judging you, mom in target with your yoga pants and top knot and coffee stained, smelly t-shirt as I watched you try to reason with your screaming child.  I giggled as you tried to put your kid in the car as he wretched like he was a cat and you were putting him in a bathtub.  But now...I get it.  And...I'm so SO sorry.  Which is why I'll be the first to push your kid on the swing so you can rest.  I got you, momma...were in this together.

Until Soon,

Kate

Tot School Week 3- Letter M

This week not only did we learn the letter "M," but we have all the letters of Max's name now in our arsenal.  This meant that Max had a huge rite of passage this week as he successfully wrote his name several times.  And like a crazy person, I naturally cried tears of pride and snapped a picture...and no, I have not erased the blackboard yet.  No YOU'RE crying. And also, don't judge me.

I made an awesome game this week for Max that we played with several times.  Using a hard plastic wipe container, I added paint and googly eyes to it and made it an alphabet monster.  Thinking about it now, I think I'm going to add some letter stickers to it, but I digress.

Then, using recycled caps to various bottles, I cut out circles with my cricut (you could also use a large circle punch) and I wrote the upper and lowercase alphabet on the circles.  I then ran them through my sticker maker and affixed them to the caps.  Max then picked a piece of paper with a letter on it, found the corresponding cap and fed the monster.  Truth be told, the matching of the paper was a bit much considering there are a lot of pieces.  So moving on, we'll probably just match upper and lowercase letters.  At any rate, he loved this tray and was super excited about it and asked for it several times during free play this week.

We also had a lot of books this week that we loved.  With Halloween fast approaching, I tried to avoid the "M is for monkey" thing and tried more for "monster" stuff which he is super into.  Lucky for me, there is no shortage of kids books featuring monsters.  A reader also asked me if I could write a blurb about some of our book choices so I will try to do this more often.

Our Letter M Books

1.  The Mitten-Jan Brett:  Wonderful story.  This is beautifully illustrated by Brett as well.  We went back and looked at the pictures several times.  

2.  Maxwell Moose's Mountain Monster- Barbara deRubertis

3.  Maddie's Monster Dad- Scott Gibala-Broxholm:  This was a cute story about a dad who works a little too hard and Maddie creates a Dad to cope.  The story is a bit long but worth the read.

4.  There Was an Old Monster- Adrian & Ed Emberley

5. The Monster Show:  Everything you Never knew about Monsters- Charise Mericle Harper

6.  The Monster at the End of this Book-Jon Stone:  This book is laugh out loud funny.  It features Grover who hears that there is a monster at the end of the book and begs the reader not to turn the pages.  It is very silly and fun.  A great book to read together.

7.  Millie Waits for the Mail- Alexander Steffensmeier

8.  Max the Monster - Kate Cuthbert

9.  The Mixed Up Mail Mystery-  Huck Scarry

10.  If you Give a Moose a Muffin-  Laura Numeroff:  This is along the same chain-of-events series Numeroff has become known and loved for.  Max is a giant fan of her other books so he was especially happy about this one,  We read this book on the first day of fall just so we could make muffins.

Which is the perfect segue to our cooking we did this week.  Seeing that we read a book about muffins and that it happened to be fall, we made pumpkin cream cheese muffins.  They came out amazing.  Max even ran some to the neighbor the second they came out of the oven.

 For this you will need:

1 can of pumpkin

8 oz. cream cheese

1/2 cup powdered sugar

2 tsp. vanilla

3 cups flour

1 cup vegetable oil

3 eggs

1 1/2 cups sugar

1/2 tsp salt

2 T pumpkin pie spice

1 T cinnamon

1 1/2 tsp. baking soda

In bowl, Mix cream cheese, powdered sugar and vanilla until smooth.  Put in fridge.

Preheat oven to 350 and line 2 muffin tins  

In a separate bowl, sift together flour, salt, baking soda and spices, set aside.

In a large bowl, mix together pumpkin, sugar, oil and eggs until well blended.  Add dry mixture just until blended.  Do not over mix.

Scoop a small about of muffin mix into each cupcake so that it covers the bottom.  Add about a tablespoon of cream cheese mix to each.  Add pumpkin batter so that cream cheese is covered.

Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes.

I hope you all enjoy these as much as we did.  They really are delicious!  

That's a Moose.  Obviously.

Until Soon,

Kate

Chef Max Cooks - Tangy Coconut Chicken

Max LOVES to cook.  It makes sense that he came out looking nothing like me (I mean, I only carried him for 38 weeks but whatever) that he like many of the things I like.  He even has an apron and a toque so it basically makes him the cutest chef ever. I get asked for recipies and cooking tips all the time and when I started this blog, I had intended on sharing many with you and haven't done so.  I'd like to change that. 

The importance of kids in the kitchen is one that I am pretty firm on.  Kids feel things just like adults and one of those feelings is pride.  Also, I am very much against making a second "kid" meal when I cook meals.  He eats what we eat...and if he cooks what we eat, lo and behold, he will eat just about anything.  If you have a little, especially is your little is picky, take out the step stool, accept the fact that you'll have more spills, and cook with your children.

Tonight we made a family favorite, Tangy Coconut chicken.  For this you will need:

Ingredients:

* 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts 

*  1/2 cup deli mustard

*  3 Tablespoons honey

*  2 cups unsweetened, shredded coconut

* Salt & Pepper

• Preheat oven to 400
• In small bowl, whisk together the mustard, honey, salt & pepper until completely blended.  Set aside
• Place coconut on plate, set aside.
• Dry chicken thoroughly with paper towels.  Dredge in honey mixture and coat with coconut.  Place on a cookie sheet.  Bake for 20-30 minutes depending on thickness of chicken.

We love this recipe.  I love it because it's only a handful of ingredients.  The boys love it because it's actually really, REALLY tasty. Try it with ground pecans if coconut isn't your thing or with maple syrup, agave or molasses if you're out of honey.  Try it with different cuts of chicken and let me know how you like it!  I bet it would be delicious with hot sauce on wings...mmmmmmm!  

This is great with our favorite side of smashed potatoes, salad and green beans.  I hope you like this as much as we do!

Until Soon,

Kate

Tot School Week 2- Letter X, #1

This week, Max learned the letter "X".  As I explained last week, we're learning our letters out of order and I figured I'd get a tough one out of the way.  By tough I mean that there simply are not a whole lot of words that start with the letter X.  

One of the things we started last week that I failed to mention was our hand print book.  I found this awesome site and kind of ran with it.  Last week we made an alligator and this week we made an "X-Ray"

I do this on standard card stock usually on Monday or Tuesday each week.  Once it dries, I put them in a 3 ring binder.  I also date each one so I can see how much Max grows throughout the year.  Yeah.  I'm sappy like that.  

We read a bunch of great books this week.  Max picked out 12 at the library that we got through.  He recently has become very interested in books that have actual photos so we read several of those.  Again, there are not too many words that begin with the letter X so we had to settle for a lot of book titles that just use the letter.

  

  Our "X" books this week were:

1.  Xavier Ox's Xylophone Experiment-Barbara deRubertis

2.  Fox in Socks- Dr. Seuss

3.  Jessica's X-Ray- Pat Zonta

4.  Hattie and the Fox- Mem Fox

5.  Taxi Dog- Debra Barracca

6.  My Mom Has X-ray Vision- Angela McAllister

My Mom Has X-ray Vision was our favorite book this week.  We talked about what superpower we would have.  Max said he would want to fly and be really strong like the hulk and his super name would be "Super Maxy Boy."  I can't argue.  Max responded really well to this book...who doesn't love a good superhero story?  Since we try to do an art project with all of our books, we made daddy some new art for his office:

Those are the Avengers.  Obviously.

One of our Montessori trays this week was so successful, Max has been pulling it out all week and weekend.  He thought it was a game (point 1 for mommy).  I took some of his cars and labeled them with the letters and numbers we were working on in all different colors.  I then labeled the tray in corresponding colors.  He had to "park" the cars in their rightful spots.  This seriously took me maybe 5 minutes to put together and has literally provided hours of entertainment. 

  

We also tried out yoga at our favorite place, We Rock the Spectrum in Boca.  If you haven't gone with your little(s) yet, you are really missing out.  The class is fantastic and we will be attending every week.  We even have used the breathing and relaxation techniques we learned throughout the week.  Max has also been walking around the house saying "mamastay."  He'll get it. :)

One of the special events we did this week was celebrating National Play-Doh day.  Play-doh is incorporated in our trays often.  Sometimes we "trace" letters and numbers with it, sometimes we use a pizza cutter to build practical life skills with it, the possibilities are pretty endless.   We went to a local library where they had fun activities set up for all the kids.  Max and I made this awesome dinosaur flying a kite. 

Side Note:   People always ask me where I get my ideas for activities for Max during the week.  The library is usually my first resource.  Not only does it give Max something to do, it's free (my favorite price),  but I take the opportunity to talk to other parents and swap ideas.  I cannot reiterate enough that the social aspect of home schooling requires work on your part, but if you start doing it, you'll meet enough people where you can easily fill your week up simply by sharing ideas.  

The science project that we did this week dealt with absorption.  It took not much preparation but provided a solid hour of quiet (ie, laundry folding time).  It's called "Walking Water."  Check the pin out here.  We did yellow and blue to make Max's favorite (this week) color, green.  We were both pretty amazed.

I'm looking forward to the upcoming week.  I have a lot of really really ideas and games planned so stay tuned.

But before I go, every time I talk to someone they ask if they can share my blog, comment on it, etc.  The answer is a resounding yes.  Please, PLEASE share.  Comment, post, ask me questions, give me ideas to write about or tips to try.  I'm here and I'm listening.  

Until Soon,

Kate

  

World's OKayest Mom

I recently bought a T-Shirt that I love.  It's heather grey, looks perfect with my signature jeans, flip-flops and pony tail and reads in big, bold, block, black letters "World's Okayest Mom."  I get a lot of compliments on it.  "Cute Shirt."  "Holy Crap! Where did you get that? I need one!" Etc. Etc. Etc. To which I usually reply sarcastically (also part of my signature look) "Yeah.  I'm just keeping it real."

But here's the thing...I really AM just keeping it real.  I'm not trying to "out-mom" you.  I'm not here to debate about vaccines or circumcision or CIO versus Attachment Parenting.  I'm not here to pass judgement on you because your four-year-old uses a pacifier and refuses to learn to go on the potty. And honestly, if you co-sleep (which we still do), that's your choice.  

You're doing extended breastfeeding?  Awesome!  You're formula feeding?  Great!  You went back to work and your partner is with your baby? Fantastic!  You can't bear the thought of a weekend without your little?  Delightful!  Is your kid happy?  Good.  That's all that matters.  Really.  Truly and honestly.  

Ladies (and some gents).  I don't get it.  It's hard enough out there already for us.  We have legislators (the majority of whom lack a vagina) making decisions about our personal health concerns and choices.  We live in a country where just now, who you choose to marry does not rely solely on their genitalia (and that fight is still happening despite recent strides).  We live in a world where in some places, if a girl dares to go to school, she may get shot.  The last thing we need to be doing is bringing each other down along the way.

I live by a very specific mantra.  I don't care what color you are, what God you pray to, what your political outlook is, who you sleep with or where you graduated from.  If you treat me and everyone else with kindness, respect and love, let's be friends.  

So here's an idea.  I challenge all of you out there, regardless if you are a parent or not, make this the best final quarter of the year ever.  Practice random acts of kindness. Everyday.  Open your mind to the possibility that a different opinion isn't incorrect, just different.   Open doors.  Choose to breathe instead of yell.  Choose love over confrontation.  Go the extra mile.  Support each other.  Point out good work instead of pointing out blame.  Speak the truth and silence the gossip.  Include new people into your circle.  See how quickly your lives change.  

And to you, my fellow moms and dads, I challenge you to be the person your kid thinks you are.  Stop whispering about other parents and children.  Stop comparing your life to everyone else.  Put away your own soap box and pedestal.  Put on your cape.  Jump in puddles, be a bit more patient, laugh more and worry about the spills later.  It's just a phase...so don't miss it.

Until Soon,

Kate

The Big Trip

Max and I recently took a big adventure to the midwest to visit my family.  This was my first trip with him solo so the airport was very nerve wracking.  Carrying a carseat and holding his hand was tough but totally worth it.  Aside from a minor hiccup with the car rental, we were off on a really big, amazing adventure.  

We started in Chicago where my cousin who also happens to be one of my closest friends, Allison, lives.  She recently got her first big girl, post college job and is living in the cutest little place near Wrigley.  She was nice enough to open her home to us for several nights.  The next day my mother's four sisters\(including Allison's mom) picked us up and brought us to the zoo.  It was a bit hot but pretty amazing and much larger than our zoo back home.  

That's not a real lion.

We were then off to spend time in East Chicago, Indiana with my father's family.  Including my grandmother who can still throw down some pretty amazing Polish food.  The kind that sticks to your ribs and makes you sleep like it's Thanksgiving.  And also you feel a bit guilty for liking it so much.  Max even cleared two plates!

Our adventure then left us off to Lowson, MI to visit my cousin, Juli, who has two girls, Amelia and Adeline who are around Max's age.  She welcomed us into her beautiful, new home in the country.  Legit country as in driving through vineyards and zero cellphone service.  Which was actually really awesome.  It forced us to do things like...talk.  Max and Amelia hit it off like they were old friends,  It was sad to go the next morning, but we can't wait to go back for a follow up visit.

The next day we headed to Chesterton, Indiana where my mom would be meeting up with Max and I to visit with her side of the family for the reminder of our trip.  This also included a super fun adventure in Chicago again for some real sight seeing.  We visited Millennium Park, home of the famous Bean, a brand new park and a splash area. The evening was topped off with a picnic in the park and a very sleepy boy on the ride home.

While we visited all of my family...cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.  The most important thing we did was visit my Grandmother with my mom there.  She's in an Assisted Living facility and time seems to be going too fast these days.  It's important to me that Max gets to know her in person.  He always knew who she was through stories and pictures, but I wanted him to have some solid, concrete memories of her.  

There's a saying that goes "Do not send flowers to my funeral.  Do not come and visit my grave.  Do not mourn for the conversations we never had.  Send me flowers today for me to put on my table.  Visit my home and listen to my stories.  Call me and talk to me when you have a moment.  Time is cruel and unrelenting. Today is beautiful and I am here."  That has been sticking with me more in recent weeks.  While we may not have had the funds, I simply explained to my husband that I will regret every chance I never took to get a four generation photo.  Being awesome and supportive, he made that whole week happen for us.  And I was able to get this:

Worth. Every. Penny.

Until Soon,

Kate

Tot School Week 1- Letter A

Last week Max and I started our latest adventure...Tot School.  Basically it's the entire curriculum his older friends in VPK are learning with some twists along the way.  So far, we're both loving it and Max wakes up excited to see what activities we're going to do.  I figured in the words of Julie Andrews "let's start at the very beginning.  It's a Very good place to start." So we started with the letter A. I (thankfully) got some fantastic advice about teaching the letters out of order so if you were expecting a post on the letter B next week, you'd be wrong.  BOOM.  Mind=BLOWN.

The Palm Beach Library System is awesome for starters.  I can go online, request the books I want, they put them together and I pick them up at my preferred branch.  They even take care of transferring books between branches...so one trip and I have all of my books for the week.  Minus, of course, the 10 that Max will pick out on his own.  And if you're a parent reading this and considering tot school, or if you have kids in general, get your child his/her own library card.  It teaches them deadlines, borrowing and responsibility.  I highly recommend it.

Back to books.  I picked eight books for the week at two per day (it was Labor Day so we only did four days).  All of the books had "A" words in them.  As Max and I have a goal to read 1,000 books by spring break, I'll be numbering all of the books we read.

1.  There's an Alligator Under my Bed- Mercer Mayer

2.  Zack's Alligator-Shirley Mozelle

3.  Zack's Alligator and the First Snow-Shirley Mozelle

4.  Hey Little Ant-Phillip & Hannah Hoose (this one has a song to it.)

5.  How to Make an Apple Pie and See the World-Marjorie Priceman

6.  The Apple Pie Tree-Zoe Hall

7. The Lady with the Alligator Purse-Mary Ann Hoberman & Nadine Bernard Westcott

8.  Alexander Anteater's Amazing Act-Barbara deRubertis

Alexander Anteater's Amazing Act is part of the Animal Antics series.  I just recently discovered this and while the stories are a bit long, We really enjoy them.  There are 26 students in Alpha Betty's class and there is a book on each of them.  All of the books have an alliterated title such as this and come in really handy for less frequently used letters like Q, W and X.  They're super cute books so if your little enjoys longer stories, I highly recommend them.  They're awesome.

We try to do at least one art activity to go with each book.  I'd show you our egg carton alligator, but it's truly embarrassing.  as in my 3 year old said "don't take a picture of that, mommy." embarrassing. 

In addition to Books and Art, I have incorporated Montessori style "trays" into our daily routine.  While I don't fully agree with Montessori style teaching for older children, it has its merits in tot and elementary schooling.  That's just my opinion please hold off on the torches and lynch mobs.  The trays vary from sensory, fine motor skills, to literacy and mathematics to  practical life skills...I cannot stress the importance of that one.  I try to set out between three and four trays a day.  He can do them in whichever order he chooses, but he must do them all.

So prior to the week starting, I made a bunch of rainbow rice.  It's pretty simple, 1 cup of rice, 1 Tablespoon of vinegar and a few drops of food coloring.  Mix it all up in a ziplock bag and dump it on a cookie sheet.  Let it dry for a bit and put it all in a bin.  Good times.

I then buried small "A" items in the bin.  Decorative apples, toy airplanes, acorns, etc.  I handed max the bin with a spoon and a shovel and told him to have at it.  Seriously hours of entertainment.  

Other bins he really responds well to are the practical life skills.  Things like cutting zigzag lines out of paper, using a broom to sweep beans onto specific areas, pouring liquid from large containers to smaller ones (learn from my mistakes and put a towel down first).  

We also did a lot of sorting.  This can be as simple as taking a handful of Fruit Loops and having your child sort by color.  Just be prepared for them to ask you every 30 seconds if they can eat them.

I also get pretty creative and make puzzles...and yes, even apple shaped PB&J.  That's just how I roll.

I have many people asking me about his socialization.  This takes some work but it's imperative to homeschooling.  Max is currently in a music class...and let me tell you, dear reader, you have not LIVED until you have spent your Monday mornings in a room of two to four-year-olds in an instrument parade.  It's as louder than you're imagining.  I also take advantage of many of the free events around town and at the various libraries in my area.  Last week for example was National Teddy Bear Day and a local library was having a Teddy Bear Picnic where every child could bring their lovies, hear stories, have snacks, sing songs and do crafts.  So yes, this part requires real planning and effort on your part, but you've come this floor.  The dishes and laundry can wait.  Go play and learn.

Until Soon,

Kate