Sunday, September 27, 2015

Three is a Challenge

Whoever coined the phrase "Terrible Twos" never experienced three.  As a parent, when your kid is about 10 months through two, you think to yourself "This is easy! I don't know what the fuss is all about."  And you go about your happy life standing in the warmth of the sun and planning a third birthday party and enjoying the fact for this one, brief, moment in your life, you're the greatest parent on the planet.  You are perfect.  Your child will never need therapy because you screwed them up.

I hate to bust your bubble (I'm lying, I don't hate it), but my friend you are so wrong.  You will spend months planning an epic third birthday party for your perfect child but what they don't tell you is this...when your kid blows their candles out, the devil comes in...you may actually see your child immediately swap their halo for a pitchfork and horns.  

It's true.  I wouldn't lie to you.

And it will be subtle at first.  You'll think "ohhh...little Johnny missed his nap today.  He's so cranky."  "Oooohhh...little Susie doesn't like strawberries today because she had them everyday this week.  She's probably sick of them."  And all of your friends with three-year-olds will agree with you and then go home and tell their spouses and they'll laugh and laugh.

Don't get me wrong.  99.9% of the time, your kid is amazing and kind and as awesome as he/she was at two.  But there is that other .01% of the time that really sticks out.  And sometimes its a whole day of that .01%. 

I have said before that I knew so much more about parenting before I actually had a kid.  I was judging you, mom in target with your yoga pants and top knot and coffee stained, smelly t-shirt as I watched you try to reason with your screaming child.  I giggled as you tried to put your kid in the car as he wretched like he was a cat and you were putting him in a bathtub.  But now...I get it.  And...I'm so SO sorry.  Which is why I'll be the first to push your kid on the swing so you can rest.  I got you, momma...were in this together.

Until Soon,
Kate

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